Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
