So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
