how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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