Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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