yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
