covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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