stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
