I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sorry my hands just texted you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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