check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
