Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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