my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
