I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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