youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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