i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
