Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
