you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my liver is dry heaving
Text me some of your sweat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
