the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
