I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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