you would pick up someone in the library
operation have a gay friend backfired
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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