so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
