took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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