First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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