i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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