just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
