His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
