I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
