I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
