Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
