cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
