Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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