I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
