i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
