Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
