To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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