Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
