he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
