i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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