i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
only if we run a train.
done.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
