I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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