I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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