i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
