My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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