apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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