You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
