i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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