she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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