why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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