it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
