There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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