yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
