Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
